Starting Over.

    After 3 years of being with my husband Carl, I found out he only married me because I asked him to not because he was in love with me and wanted to be with me for the rest of his days. I have been running for the past 3 years from my true heart. I was doing things that I thought would make other's in my life happy like my parents and my family. I have learned a hard lesson in life. The only person that is truly going to make you happy is yourself. Only you know what it is that is going to truly keep a smile on your lips. I found out that on the 5th of August my brother is moving to Mongolia. He will be there for 1 or more years depending on if he likes it or not. I give him credit he is going even though my mom and dad told him not to go. I guess it kind of has helped me do what I am doing now. I am currently on a Greyhound bus headed to Florida to my ex-husband. He is my soul mate and he completes me. He has never stopped being there for me and I really could care less at this point if my parents don't like him or how he lives. I love him and that is all that matters. I have spent the last 3 years trying to replace him and I know in my heart know one can love me like him. My ex knows how to love me and touch me.
    I lived in Pa for the last 3 years finding excuse after excuse as to why not to just admit I was wrong and tuck my tail and go home. One of my reasons was my friend who I viewed as a mother figure. She is much older that me and I guess I kind of always knew we were not the type of friends I thought we were. I was a friend of convenience. I would of done anything for this woman but she hurt me one to many times. With this and how my husband was treating me I decided to finally go home where I belong. I know it will take time for me to adjust but I am willing to take that time. I know I will have to find where I belong and what kinds of things I like to do but I will and that is all that matters.
    Starting over can be stressful but I am determined to stick it out and allow my ex to truly love me and allow myself to be loved. Not everyone has the guts to know when to back down and start over. I look forward to meeting all the new people and helping out at the local animal shelter.