So after thinking if I really wanted to continue with this blog I decided I did because I think with me being able to honestly talk about how I feel and and about part of my life that I am still not completely over it will make me be able to heal. So if you are reading this and the things I say upset you well I am sorry well actually I am not because I have a right to feel like I do and the things I talk about are things that I experienced.
    When I was younger things were not always good but who really had a great life all the time. I guess some of my issues started when I was young. I have a dad and I have a father and what I mean by this is that my mom got pregnant with me by a guy who could of cared less if I was his kid and he actually did not want me nor did his family and I have a man who came into my mom's life and adopted 2 kids that were not his and raised us like we were. The my father who I will call the sperm donor was just that he went as far as to tell his family he caught my mom with another man which was a lie and they told my mom that I was the last one they were going to claim. My brother had a very good relationship with that side of the family were I was not allowed to come over unless my grandmother was there which she barely was because she worked and my grandfather was to sick to go to work. So I grew up fighting to show them that I loved them and then my grandfather died before I cold tell him how much I loved him. For a long time I thought his death was my fault because I was not a better granddaughter. When I was 19 years old I went to his grave and sat and cried while I talked to him and told him how I felt and for so many years how I had carried that pain around. When I walked away from his grave I felt so much better like a hole had been filled.
    When I was 12 I was molested by my uncle. I was taught growing up that your family keeps you safe and helps you with your problems so when I got molested it really messed me up in many ways I felt like my mom thought it was my fault and this event really messed me up even though I would not let people in to help me. I think that my parents thought I healed from this but I did not heal till many years after I left home. I took my pain out on thee wrong people and I tried everything I could think of to fill the pain from lieing about being pregnant to saying my dad was beating me to drinking and doing drugs and selling my body. I learned that in life there are few people who are really going to stand by you and love you and help you no matter what you go thru. I think I have found a few people now that will stand by me but the people I used to want to stand by me in the past never really stood up for me.
    I am getting very tired so I am going to wrap this up for tonight. If you are a mom or dad please go to your kid and give him/her a hug and make sure everyday they know that no matter what they say or do that you will never turn your back on them and that you love them. Sometimes your kid needs to hear and feel your love for them don't just think they know.

Just my life....

So I am 27 years old and as the title of my blog says I am homeless or atleast by the standards of the law. I myself do not consider myself homeless but housing impaired. I sometimes love living I learn how